O.M.G. I've always thought of myself as one who would have good karmic energy. I believe in karma; I enjoy watching it sneak up on oblivious people, and I try to keep my own personal record as clean as possible. As a result, I should be completely unsurprised about what transpired in my house after posting articles about evicting my kids' precious kittens and praying vigilantly for the death of a mouse.
Since the mouse sighting, I have been cleaning out every place I feel needs attention and tonight it was the "seasonal cubby." Aka the weird, awkward space that takes up half of our upstairs in which no one can stand. Therefore, totes of Christmas decor, retired toys, wrapping paper, and clothes baskets (sometimes full of clean clothes I'm too lazy to put away) are stowed away here.
I finished organizing, vacuuming, and felt great about the whole thing. Heck, I found gifts I'd picked up for people and forgotten about and realized I have enough gift bags to last through all of the Christmases and birthdays of my girls' youths. Winning.
Then, as a half dressed Harper and a naked Sawyer were standing at the top of the steps, a shriek of terror cut the peace of my evening. A bat, which was "hanging" out above the stairwell (literally and figuratively) had been spotted by my eldest. My eldest who hates the book Stellaluna and all things bat had no choice but to stand there and scream, leaving the bat no choice but to swoop at my defenseless children's heads as I stood at the foot of the steps looking up in horror.
Sawyer streaked down the steps, putting in footie pajamas as she went, deserting Harper upstairs. I grabbed them, a blanket, and headed for the car, with them crying and me panicking all the way. I didn't know what to do. I called my husband at work, and he agreed to come home. But there I was thinking about that varmint infesting MY house...again.
So, I did the unthinkable. If anyone was looking in my window, they got a show, and I hope they videoed it because it was viral worthy. I got the kids' pink butterfly net, and a baseball bat from the garage, secured my hood, and went in. The mini assassin swooped at my head and I ducked so fast and hard my knees got skinned through my pants. I know words that rhymed with brother and trucker were uttered. Panting, I got up, crept to the doorway, and skimmed Dracula out of the air midflight. I then proceeded to scream as he chirped in the net. I remembered my batting skills from softball and left the massacre for my husband to clean up.
I felt like I had run a marathon. My entire body was in tremors and I couldn't catch my breath. I was sweating like a madwoman in an absolute tither. I think it was the single most athletic activity in which I've participated in years. I have never been down with nature, but this mini hunting trip I participated in so as to defend my family from the Count took it to a whole new level. I'm hoping the selflessness of the deed helps my karmic score because I don't know how much more wildlife I can endure.
