I haven’t been great at the Senior Sunday trend as the mom of a senior, but I think that was a way to protect myself…from all the feels. I rarely look at my kids’ baby photos or spend too much time rethinking those moments because I feel like I’ve been a parent for a LONG time but conversely, I cannot believe just how fast someone’s childhood can pass you by.
I am so incredibly proud of our oldest-our empathetic, beautiful, smart, capable, talented girl. She is witty and kind and magnetic and really just everything I could ever dream her to be. And all of those things have been true her whole life. She wants to go to cosmetology school and community college so she can own her own salon and part of her business plan is to offer sensory friendly hours and haircuts for special needs people and possibly travel to them if needed. Thats just the kind of human she is. And she’s nervous about the future and if it’s the right choice and everything else a young graduate frets about, but she’s 17 and even if plans change, I am confident in her ability to navigate that.
As senior year wore on, I managed to post side by sides of my girl as a little dressed in her favorite colors that have been the same forever. Very few tears were shed. I made it through final volleyball and basketball games and awards nights. I did just fine at baccalaureate and prom left me unscathed. I wasn’t phased by walkout or send off. My people checked on me and I told them all, “I’m ready; she’s ready. I’ve raised a whole human and she’s a great one. She’s some of my best work.”
The past few weeks, we’ve been deep into a home project, which has consumed us to say the least. And that might have been a subliminal choice to keep us from ourselves. I found myself crying to “Low Rider” at the spring band concert and I was worried for my husband as he got emotional thanking the band director, bringing himself and much of the audience to tears. *Note: our graduating child is not in band.* Two days ago I was finishing the last of the cleanup and was getting everything put back together. When I was done I noticed one photo, face down on the floor. I picked it up and immediately started to sob. It was Bill and I in our graduation caps and gowns at our Masters Commencement, Sawyer clinging to my neck between us. She was just three in a flowered dress I bought at Carson’s and she looked so proud.
She gave up a lot of us when we were doing grad school. She stayed with my mom when we went to class and her life was disrupted for two years, but we did it for her. We wanted her to have the best life and wanted her to see how much we valued education and how important dreams are. When I looked at that tiny smiling face and the much younger faces of my husband and I, it was a watershed moment. And since that happened, my eyes have been a little leakier. I have told people and written about how the most valuable thing you have is time; did I give enough of mine to her? Will she forgive me as she looks back with adult eyes on her childhood if I didn’t spend ours together wisely? The life our family leads and the career path we chose has created quite a bit of time-sharing over the years and grad school was just the start.
But, because of that part of our lives, my husband addressed her class today as superintendent of schools, at times tearfully; I sat on the stage as the elementary principal who joined the school when their class was in 5th grade with a tissue in my sleeve, which I only had to use twice. Both times were my husband’s fault. He talked about opportunity and I couldn’t help but think of that photo and the opportunity we tried to give to her and that she certainly has given to us. We’ve had the privilege to watch her grow into an amazing human: daughter, sister, friend, student, athlete, and the list goes on. And on this special day, our second daughter and our son watched as their dad handed their sister her awards and diploma. They were able to be part of a moment like she was as a little girl, to see someone’s hard work and sacrifice reap rewards. It was another last in a series of firsts for the Kerr family.
This final #seniorsunday, is full of excitement and pride for this amazing person we created, gratitude for all the milestones we’ve shared as a family, and hope for the future and countless other celebrations we get to have together. ♥️ We wish nothing but the same and more for the class of 2025 and their families!
